Who are you, without the title? Without the role? Without the sport? This question followed me long after I retired from the Olympics. And strangely, it grew louder, not quieter, as time passed. I had been introduced my entire life through labels: athlete, competitor, Olympian. But when those labels fell away, I had to confront something deeper.
A decade into retirement, I realized that growth requires a new kind of leadership, an internal one. Even though I had built a career investing into the next generation of founders that transform health and wellness, or as a motivational speaker, I felt the need to stretch myself again. That’s what led me into a powerful experience at Wharton Executive Education, inside a leadership program with about thirty C-Suite leaders. One exercise during those sessions shook me in a way competition never did.
It was called: “Who Are You?”
And it changed everything.
The structure was simple - almost too simple to believe it would make an impact.
You sit with a partner. For two full minutes, they ask you one single question, over and over again:
“Who are you?”
Then you answer. Again. And again.
You do this with three different partners. Six minutes of being asked the same question, repeated like a drumbeat. Six minutes of peeling away everything you always thought you were.
At first, most of us answered with our titles - the obvious outer layers:
These responses came out fast, rehearsed like a networking script. They were safe. They were automatic. They were the armor we all wear.
But after the first rotation, something shifted.
The titles ran out. The armor cracked. The words slowed down.
Then the deeper truths started to appear.
“I’m someone who thrives on growth.”
“I’m afraid of standing still.”
“I’m searching for meaning.”
“I want to be seen not for my job, but for who I really am.”
Within four to six minutes, I watched people, executives who lead global teams, get emotional. They spoke about their kids, their parents, their regrets, and their hopes. I saw clarity in their eyes that I hadn’t seen in the previous three weeks of working together.
The room transformed into a space of honesty and connection. And that is the foundation of what we try to bring to each stage, board room or 1:1 high performance sessions. This is the foundation of motivation and leadership.
What struck me most was this: In three weeks, we never reached this level of depth. In six minutes, we did.
Why?
For three weeks, people defaulted to their professional titles. Those labels acted like shields. The introduction in every meeting, every conference, every hallway moment was the same: a name, a role, a function. That was their identity - or so they believed.
But those identities are thin. They restrict how we show up. They restrict how we connect. They restrict how we lead.
Your team cannot show up fully if they are always wearing armor.
When we focus only on titles, we miss the human being behind the responsibility. Real motivation and leadership grow only when the real person is allowed to step forward. Identifying the elements that are true attributes are key to our success long after we receive that revenue increase, raise, pat on the back etc.
After the exercise, we debriefed as a group. Three questions guided the reflection:
Almost everyone raised their hand for all three.
That resistance was a clue. It showed us how tightly we cling to our titles, how deeply we fear being seen without them, and how conditioned we are to hide behind roles.
But leadership - true internal leadership - begins where the armor ends.
When people spoke honestly, without their usual layers, we saw:
These are not traits you can buy with compensation or perks. These are not things you can mandate with policy. These qualities appear only when humans feel safe enough to show up as their real selves.
And that is why motivation and leadership frameworks are a critical piece to understand WHAT motivates us, and how we can LEAD not only others, but lead ourselves into understanding our own human behavior. Simply but this must begin from the inside out.
As someone who built a life around competition, the question “Who are you?” was heavier for me than I expected.
Who was I, without medals? Without applause? Without the Olympic rings? Without the schedules, the structure, the training? Without the sport that shaped my identity?
At first, I didn’t know how to answer. My instinct was to go back to familiar ground - the athlete, the Olympian, the competitor. But when I stripped away the titles, something else appeared.
I realized I was someone hungry for meaning. Someone who thrived on growth, wanted to help others rise, and believed deeply in the power of personal reinvention.
And that insight played a huge role in my evolution from Olympic champion into investor, author and of course into an inspirational speaker focused on resilience, mindset, and purpose.
Leadership today isn’t just about vision or strategy. It’s about humanity.
People follow leaders who are real, honest, show vulnerability, and help them discover who they are.
If you want to build a team that is aligned, energized, and engaged, you don’t start with KPIs. You start with identity. You start with openness. You start with conversations that go deeper than titles.
You start with the question:
Who are you… really?
This is the foundation of powerful behavior shifts that go from doing what others are expecting of us, and instead governing our own speed limit through motivation and leadership.
Here are the truths that stayed with me long after this program ended:
This is a message I share often when I an engaging with a new corporate client, sales team or on stage as a motivational speaker, because this exercise taught me something I wish I had learned earlier:
You can’t lead people if you don’t know who you are without your title.
And you can’t inspire others if you’re afraid to be seen without your armor.
Who are you without the title? Without the job? Without the role others expect you to play? Who are you when the labels fall away, and you answer from your heart instead of your résumé?
That version of you - the honest, unarmored one - is the leader.
That’s the person who truly connects.
That’s the person who brings real authenticity and drive can connect with others in a way that we previously thought impossible. We start to clearly define motivation and leadership into every room they enter.
And that’s the person I continue to discover in myself - day after day, year after year - as I grow not just as an athlete, not just as an author, not just as a public figure, but as a guide, my goal is to remind, encourage and step into the role as a inspirational speaker committed to helping people find clarity in their own identity.
Because the truth is simple: The moment you know who you are without the title…you become unstoppable.